Road Trip Cullen Style!
by pinkcrayon1101
Summary: This is the story of when Bella persuades the Cullens to go on a Cross-country road trip. Will they make it all the way? Who's driving? And what in the world is Emmett doing with a doll? --Before Breaking Dawn-- please read! I suck at summaries... :D
1. Idea

**No, I don't own anything to do with Twilight or the other books in the series. :(**

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**Ok, so this is a new story. I thought it would be funny, and I have one more Idea. HAHAHA. OK, so maybe I'll be the only person who thinks this is funny, and maybe not. I dunno. Hope you like it! (and please tell me if it's so stupid and I should just delete it!)**

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I was sitting at home alone watching a movie. Edward and his family were out hunting, Angela was visiting her grandma in Oregon, and Charlie was on a fishing trip with Billy and Jake. So, I had no other option except to become a couch potato until someone interesting came home.

I was watching some movie channel and had been watching movies forever. I started at 10:00 AM and it was now 10:00 PM. Great, twelve hours wasted. I sighed, and got up to make popcorn for the next movie. Some stupid theme music played and I groaned. This was probably going to be some boring old movie. Great, just what I wanted to watch. I looked at the screen and two big red letters popped up.

"Hmm... 'RV'." I said to myself. "Great. I'm going crazy!" I said, smacking myself in the head.

I watched the entire movie, not moving an inch. I shoveled the popcorn into my mouth, and watched as the poor family had to do more and more outrageous things. I liked most of the characters except for the teenage girl played by 'Jojo'.

I must have fallen asleep sometime during the next movie, because I felt cold hands under me.

"Mmmm... Edward?"

"Yes love, did you have fun while I was gone?"

"I watched a movie, and it made me think of something we should all do together." I said, yawning.

"You're exhausted. Fall back to sleep my love, You can explain it to me in the morning." He said, and started humming my lullaby. Well, that knocked me out in four seconds flat.

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**Hi! Sorry it was so short, but I promise the next chapter (if you want one) will be longer! :D**

**thanks for reading!**

**pinkcrayon1101**


	2. Emmett's a gangsta?

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Twilight, New moon, Eclipse, Breaking Dawn, or any of the associated characters, plots, or settings in the books. Stephenie Meyer does :( **

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**Hello! I hope you like this chapter, It's kinda short, but really funny! Or at least, that's what my friend says. LOL. Well, all of the stuff that Emmett says is from our conversation, so yeah. It's not _all _completely random LOL, hope you like it! Thanks for reading! And thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter!! KEEP IT UP, YOU GUYZ ROCK THE AMAZING FO SHIZZLE! 3**

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I woke up the next day to the most beautiful face in the world. Edward. _My _Edward.

"Mmmm." I sighed, happy. I wrapped my arms around him, and wiggled into the little space that was left between us.

"Morning love," He said, kissing me on the forehead. "We have to get ready."

"Where are we going?" I asked, still half asleep.

"My house, remember you wanted to tell my family and I something?"

"Oh yeah, right." I said, hopping out of bed and grabbing my toiletry bag. "Gimme a human minute please."

"Anything for you."

I locked the door on the bathroom, and then started running some water for my bath. I waited until the water was nice and hot, then stepped inside. The hot water untangled all of the tight knots in my back, and helped me relax. But, the bliss didn't last long because I had to hurry. Edward was waiting. I turned off the water, and grabbed a fluffy, blue towel. I quickly towel-dried my hair and threw it into a messy bun. Then, I got dressed, did my teeth, and went out to see Edward.

"Done." I announced, coming out of the bathroom.

"Great, let's go." Edward said, holding the door open for me.

"What's the rush?"

"I just want to know what's on your mind." He said, kissing my forehead again. He picked me up, and we ran all the way to his house.

When we got to the front of the white mansion, Alice was waiting.

"ohmygoshBella,IthinkthatsanawesomeideaIcantbelieveIdidn'tthinkofitbefore!" she said, super fast.

"Woah, Alice. The only part of that I understood was 'oh my gosh'." I said, as Edward placed me on my feet.

"Sorry! I'm just super excited!"

"Oh no Bella, what have you gotten us into?" He asked, reading Alice's mind.

"You'll have to wait and see." I said, going up the steps toward the house.

But, of course, being me, I tripped on the last step. Luckily, two stony arms caught me.

"Thanks Edwa-- Hey! You're not Edward!" I said as the person placed me on my feet.

"Nope, I'm Emmett though!" Emmett said with a wide grin. Then he pointed to his wrist. "Look at the watch I got as a prize in a 'Lucky Charms' cereal box!" He said, as excited as a first grader bringing something for show-and-tell.

"That's cool Emmett," I said, smiling. "Will you please tell everyone that there's going to be a family meeting?"

"Yeah, sure no probs home skillit." He replied, heading back into the house. He walked two steps into the middle of the room and bellowed

"YO! GUYS! COME DOWN HERE! B-SKILLIT IS CALLIN A FAMILY MEETIN!"

"What's up with the whole gangsta thing?" I whispered to Edward, who had come behind and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Just a phase." He whipered back, the scent of his breath trickling into my nose. So sweet, and his voice, so soft.

"You'd better believe it. Fo shizzle." Emmett said to me as the others came down. Rose smacked him hard on the head.

"What was that for R-skillit?"

"For being an moron Emmett." She said, smacking him again. Everyone but Emmett and Rose laughed.

"OK then let's get this family meeting to order. Everyone to the dining room table." Carlisle said, waving his hand over to the dining room. We all filed in and Emmett slapped Carlisle on the back.

"Good thinkin C-skillit!" He said, earning another slap from Rose once he was seated.

"Rose baby, why you hatin? You're the milk in my coco puffs." Rose smacked him twice on the head, _really_ hard. Poor Emmett.

Now there was only one thing left to do. Get them all to agree.

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**haha, hope you liked it :) **

**Sorry bout the whole Emmett thing, today I was high on sugar and I was talking gangsta all day LOL! :D**

**thanks for reading, hope you liked it, please review :)**

**--pinkcrayon1101**


	3. Picking an RV

**If I owned Twilight, I wouldn't be sitting in my house writing this. :) All rights belong to Stephenie Meyer. I own BICK though! yay! **

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**Hello! I hope you like this chapter, sorry it took so long to update _again_. Anyways, Bella may be slightly OOC, but they _all _are in my stories aren't they?**

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"OK," I said, sitting down at the table. "I know this sounds insane but..."

"Bella wants us to go cross-country in an RV!" Alice spit out before I could. "Sorry." She added after the glare I shot at her.

"That's a wonderful idea!" Esme said, her eyes lighting up.

"Way to go B-dog." Emmett said, punching my fist.

"Wait, I thought I was B-skillit?"

"Well now you're B-dog."

"Yeah, sure. Anyways, you actually think it's a good idea?"

"I've always wanted to do that!" Rose said, after smacking Emmett on the head again.

"I would also enjoy that." Carlisle said, smiling.

"Are you insane?" Jasper asked us all. "We'd probably kill each other."

"Well, you're already dead." I said. I got seven wary looks. "Sorry." I mumbled blushing.

"Yeah, anyways, let's go tomorrow!" Alice said, standing up. "We'll all need luggage, ooh! And new clothes to put _in _the suitcases, and..." She trailed off.

"Well, I think tomorrow would be an excellent departure date." Esme said, smiling again.

"Are Jasper and I the only sane ones here?" Edward said, standing up and pounding his fist on the table.

"No son, but we could do it. It would be an excellent family bonding trip." Carlisle said, grabbing Esme around the waist.

"Exactly." I said. This was easier than I had expected.

Alice was buzzing around the living room getting things ready. She had two cellphones up to her ears.

"NO!" She yelled into the first phone. "We'll need it tomorrow." She said into the other. All the while, she was packing for all of us.

"Is she always like this?" I mumbled to Edward.

"Do you really have to ask me that?" He whispered back, kissing me. I curled up in his arms.

"I love you." I whispered.

"As do I," He said, pulling me closer. "But did you really have to subject us all to this madness?"

"Edward!" I said, hitting my fist lightly on his chest. "It will be fun. I promise."

"You can't promise that." He whispered back, kissing my cheek.

"BELLA!" Alice yelled for me. "MOVE AWAY FROM EDWARD! YOU AND EMMETT NEED TO GO CHOOSE AN RV FOR US!"

"Sure Alice!" I yelled back. "I love you." I whispered to Edward. Before Edward could respond, Emmett did.

"Come on B-munnay!" Emmett said, picking me up and carrying me out the door like a potato sack.

"I thought I was--oh well." I said as he set me into the car. Before I even buckled in my seat belt, Emmett was racing down the road.

"Emmett!" I yelled at him, peeking at the speedometer. "WE'RE GOING TWO-HUNDRED AND FIFTY MILES AN HOUR?! ARE YOU INSANE?!"

"No." He answered back calmly. About three seconds later I heard the tired squeal and we were in front of an RV shop. "Here we are!" He announced, sliding out out the driver's seat.

"Barely made it _alive_." I grumbled, getting out and slamming his door as hard as I could.

"Why you hatin?" He asked me, turning around.

"Emmett, please stop being gangster."

"Oh, you don't like it?"

"No."

"Well, I thought you may like it, and after what I did to you last week..."

"Let's not revisit that." I said, cutting him off.

"But anyways, I thought it might make you happy!"

"Awwww, Emmett, that's really sweet. But no, it's just really annoying."

"Sorry Bella." He said, taking my hand and leading me into the store.

"Hello, and welcome to Rikie's RV's! Can I help you?"

"Yes," Emmett said, dropping my hand. "We need a very large trailer, with no sunroof."

"And it has to be _very _durable." I added on.

"Uh, OK." the salesman said, walking over to a large, lime green trailer.

"Um, maybe a something a little less inconspicuous?"

"What are you talking about Bella? This is awesome! Off the fo shizz-- Oh, sorry" He added, after I gave him the glare of death.

"Could we maybe see another one please?" I asked the salesman, who looked at us like we were insane.

"Uh, sure. Here is the same one in beige, but you can't have it for four weeks."

"That won't work," I told the man. "Is there anyway to get it in sooner?"

"Afraid not. The people are on a cross-country road trip with their three kids and dog. Brave souls."

"Hah! They have it _easy_!" Emmett said, laughing.

"Oh? How many people are you taking?"

"Let's see, Rose, me, Bella, Edward, Esme, Carlisle, Jasper, and Alice. So, eight people."

"Oh my." the salesman said, this time sure we were insane.

"Yes, so are you sure this is the biggest trailer you have?"

"Well, we have another one, but it is quite expensive."

"No problem!" Emmett shouted, and flashed his credit card. "Just show us the RV and give us a number."

The salesman walked over to a very large RV under a black tarp.

"This is the newest top of the line model." He said, throwing the tarp off the RV.

Emmett and I stared at it in shock. It was _huge_! And, not to mention, had the manager's face pasted to the side of it.

"Uh, is the face removable?" I asked, it scared me.

"No, afraid not. But you can pay to have it painted over, and then redone."

"Including that, how much will it be?" Emmett asked, not looking at the RV. I think that face scared him too.

The man punched some numbers into a calculator, and whispered a number in Emmett's ear.

"Yeah, that's reasonable." The man stared at him with wide eyes.

"How much Emmett?" I asked. he whispered the number in my ear. "WHAT?! ARE YOU INSANE?! THAT MUCH FOR A STINKIN RV?! WE'RE GOING SOMEWHERE ELSE!"

"Bella, calm down, you're making a scene."

"Excuse me, I need to go lie down. My co-worker will help you."

"Hello." Said the new man. He was a lot younger, and had blond hair like Jasper.

"Hi!" Emmett said, I was still grumbling in the corner.

"Is she alright?" He asked.

"Yeah, she acts like this all the time."

"EMMETT!" I screamed. several people winced.

"I'm Emmett, and that's Bella. What's your name?"

"Bick."

"Woah! That's a cowboy name! I like it!"

"Emmett, we've been here for over two hours." I said, coming towards them.

"Yes Bella," He said, rolling his eyes at Bick. "Anyways, we want this trailer please. But remove the face from the side."

"Uh, you _do _know how much that is right?"

"Yeah. And while you're at it..." Emmett started, I didn't catch the rest because he was whispering.

"Yes sir." Bick said nodding. "Your trailer will be ready for you in one hour."

"Thanks!" Emmett said, giving Bick his credit card and shaking his hands.

"It was a pleasure doing business with you Mr...?"

"Cullen." Emmett and I said at the same time.

"Well then, I hope you and your wife have an excellent road trip Mr. Cullen."

"Thanks!" Emmett said, probably thinking that Bick meant Rosalie.

"Oh, we're not married." I said to bick, releasing Emmett's hand.

"Oh... ew. No, we're bother and sister."

"Oh. Well, your RV will be ready in an hour, like I said, and thank you for choosing Rikie's RV's!"

"Where's the waiting room?" Emmett asked.

"Right through those glass doors." Bick pointed.

"Thanks." Emmett said, dragging me towards the double glass doors.

Well, this was going to be an adventure.

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**OK, I hope you liked it! It was fun to write, and that's what I thought might happen. So, please review! And have an awesome day! Drink a milkshake!**

**thanks for reading! You guys rock!  
**

**--pinkcrayon1101**


	4. Spider Man and the Waitingroom Adventure

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own the _Twilight _series, or anything to do with them. All rights belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

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**Hello! I hope you like this chapter! Sorry it's short, but I hope you like it! Thanks for reading!! Oh, and WARNING: EMMETT AND BELLA ARE OOC, WELL, EMMETT IS ANYWAY. THANKS :D I MEAN LIKE, MAJOR OOC FOR EMMETT... HOPE YOU LIKE IT :)  
**

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Emmett and I stood in a tiny, square room. There was a TV mounted to the wall, and there was a table in the middle. Other than that, there were just chairs against all the walls. Emmett was looking on the floor for something.

"Oh! Bella look!" He said, pulling something out of the tiny table drawer. In his hand, he held two shiny coloring books, and a giant pack of crayons.

"Cool Emmett, entertain yourself." I said, then looked at the TV. Why did I have to be the one to go down here? I wanted Edward.

"Ooh, Bella look! There is a clown and a rhino!"

"What?" I asked, looking over at the book. "No Emmett, that is a lion."

"I don't care," He said, coloring it Grey and adding a horn. "It's a rhino now."

I rolled my eyes at him. Sometimes he was such a two-year old. There was nothing on the news but some old lady crying about her dearly beloved cat that died. That was depressing, so I looked back at Emmett.

"Muhahaha, I rule the zoo." He said, stabbing the page with a red crayon. I rolled my eyes. Sometimes I wonder what goes on in his mind, and why the heck Rose married him.

"Emmett, what are you doing?" I asked him, once he was done with the red crayon he moved on to a purple one.

"Ruling the animal kingdom." He replied simply, continuing with his colouring.

I turned back to the TV. Now there was some cartoon on. The theme song came on, Emmett heard it, and started singing along to it. Oh god, and he was making movements up too.

"Spider Man, Spider Man," Emmett sang, jumping on top of the table and nearly crushing it.

"Emmett!" I hissed. "Get down!"

"Does whatever a spider can!" Emmett continued, jumping from chair-to-chair across the room.

"Spins a web, of any size" Emmett said, throwing crayons from his palms like Spider man's webs.

"Emmett Cullen!" I hissed again, getting angry.

"Catches thieves, just like flies," He continued, picking me up and hopping around the room with me under his arm.

"EMMETT CULLEN, PUT ME DOWN RIGHT NOW!" I screamed, throwing my fists at him and kicking.

"Look out! Here comes the Spider Man!" He finished by setting me on the ground, hopping onto the table, and taking some stupid super hero pose.

"EMMETT!" I yelled at him. There was a large creak, and the table split in two. I just noticed, but the colouring book pages were scattered on the floor, and the TV had a small crack in it.

"Your RV is r-- what happened?" Bick asked, coming throught the door.

"Spider man was on." I explained, standing up. "I'm so sorry, we'll pay however much you need to fix it."

"NO!" Bick shouted, giggling hysterically. "Just you and your brother take these keys, and don't come back here until it's time to return the trailer. OK?"

"Uh, sure. Come on Emmett." I said, looking at him. He was still standing on the tiny splinters of wood left from the table.

"Coming Bella!" Emmett yelled coming after me. Once we were safely out of the tiny square room, I heard Bick scream. We walked outside to where the trailer was waiting.

"CULLEN" was posted on the front of a trailer, the biggest one there. In fact, it was so big it made the other RV's look like compact cars.

"EMMETT!" I screamed. "WHAT DID YOU HAVE THEM DO TO THE TRAILER!?" I was loosing my patience now.

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**Ok, so I hope you liked this chapter. It was more of a funny filler chapter. Please review, and yes, I know that it was OOC, so you don't have to say anything. The Spider Man thing was random, so yeah. Thanks for reading, please review, or Emmett will come after you with crayons. ... Hey, cut me some slack, it's 1:00AM!**

**--pinkcrayon1101**


	5. PMS? Aardvarks? What else is new?

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own the _Twilight _series, or anything to do with them. All rights belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

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**Hello! Hope you like this chapter!! yay.  
**

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_**Last Time:** "EMMETT!" I screamed. "WHAT DID YOU HAVE THEM DO TO THE TRAILER!?" I was loosing my patience now._

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"Uh..." He muttered, thinking of something to say. "I dunno."

"How could you not know Emmett? The trailer is PURPLE!" I screamed at him. And it wasn't even a nice, calm purple. It was an electric purple that made your eyes burst out of it's sockets. You had a better chance at looking at the sun and being fine than looking at this darn thing. I grumbled and turned to see if he at least removed the face. I gasped. Oh, he removed the face alright. But he replaced it with a giant picture of an aardvark.

"EMMETT CULLEN!" I yelled at him. "Drive the stupid RV home, and I'll take your jeep." I said, trying to be calm.

"OK." He said, looking scared of me. I tossed him the keys to the trailer, and he tossed me the keys to the jeep. I grumbled to myself the entire way to the house, becoming more and more mad.

"EDWARD!" I screamed, throwing open the front door. He was there in a flash.

"What is it love? Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. But the trailer isn't!" He looked at me confused, and I pointed to the door. He poked his head outside and dropped to the floor laughing.

"Edward," I said through my teeth. "It. Isn't. Funny." He straightened up immediately and said, "Of course not love, I'm sorry."

The rest of the family heard us, and came down to look at the RV. Carlisle, Esme, and Jasper all had the same reaction as Edward when they saw it, but Alice and Rose went up to Emmett.

"EMMETT!" Rose screamed. "I don't have any clothes that will match this...this... BARNEY mo-bile!" Rose screeched.

"Yeah, and It's UGLY." Alice whined at him. Emmett shrugged. They both hit him on the head.

"I like it." Esme said, coming out to defend Emmett.

"Thanks mom." Emmett said, hugging her.

I was so stressed and angry right now that I didn't really care who I was talking to, I was snapping at them. When I was like this, no matter who it was, there was only one thing that could stop me.

For example; After he was done looking at the trailer, Carlisle came up and asked me a simple question,

"Did you call Charlie about the trip?"

and my response was:

"GOD! NO! I DIDN'T CALL CHARLIE! LEAVE ME ALONEEEE!". I stomped up the stairs, with Edward following, and a confused Carlisle standing in the living room, muttering;

"A man can never understand a female even if he's lived for over three hundred years. Thats not a good sign for mankind."

I continued stoming until I hit Edward's room, then I slammed the door. Edward threw it open as I colapsed on his bed.

"You ok love?" He asked, stroking my hair.

"No," I said, blubbering. "Emmett, and the Trailer, and ITS ALL RUINED!" I kept sobbing.

"No it's not love," He replied, sitting beside me."Alice is getting it re-painted right now, and Emmett will be punished."

"NO!" I cried. I didn't want Emmett to be punished, I was just mad at him. I kicked my feet, messing up all of the blankets on the bed.

"Want some tea love?" He asked, now rubbing circles into my back.

I stoped kicking immediatly.

"Yes," I whispered quietly. I loved how he knew what made me feel better. I still lay there, face down on his beautiful bed, looking at the now tear-stained sheets. Edward put a disk in the DVD player and left to get my tea. As soon as I heard the opening credits, I sat up. He really did know how to cheer me up. I lay against the pillows and watched the movie. Seconds later Edward came into the room with popcorn and a cup of tea.

"Be careful, it's hot." He said, handing me the mug.

When the movie was done, the popcorn bowl was empty, and my tea was all gone, I got out of the bed. Of course, I stumbled trying to get out.

"Careful love." Edward said, grabbing onto me.

He let go after balencing me in position. I walked out of the room and downstairs.

"Hey Bella!" Alice said, greeting me at the bottom of the stairs. "Ready to go shopping for the trip?"

Again, just another simple question, and sadly, I was still mad. I clenched my fists, trying not to say anything. Edward came rushing behind me. I could hear the buzz of them talking in a fast-vampireish type way.

"Alice," I said, taking a deep breath in. "No thank you."

"But Bella, we really need to go shopping or else you'll look all ra--"

but I cut her off before she could finish.

"ALICE," I yelled, hitting my fists against the bed. "I WILL NOT GO SHOPPING. DONT EVEN MENTION IT PLEASE." then I turned back to Edward and screamed;

"I NEED MORE TEA!"

He darted out of the room, and Rose stood with Alice beside the door.

"Im sooo glad I dont get P.M.S. anymore." Rose said from right outside the doorway.

"Im glad I dont remember having it!" Alice's silver voice rang into my ears.

I pulled the pillow into me, and screamed.

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**Hahahaha, Ok, so that was really random. Ive had half of that chapter written for like a month, but I just finished it, so yea. Hope you liked it, sorry bella was MAJOR OOC (OCC w.e) and hope u liked it. 3**

**Lilly thinks It would be really sad if your birthday cake was smiling at you, and you ate it.**

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	6. Giant Paper Cups

**I have some tres exciting news at the bottom!!! YAY! I hope you all go to it, i mean, its pretty dang flabbit awesome. :D

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I awoke to the sounds of honking.

"Stupid american drivers." I heard Emmett mutter.

"I looked up at the ceiling. This didn't look like Edward's bedroom...

"Edward?" I called lightly, where the heck was I?

"Ah, you're awake." He said, smiling and kissing me on the head.

"Mhmmm," I said, sitting up and stretching. "Uhm, where are we?"

"Somewhere between Oregon and Nevada." He said grinning.

"That's specific." I muttered, getting on my feet.

Emmett hit a speed bump, causing the entire car to go bouncing, which of course, knocked me off balance.

"You okay, love?" Edward asked, helping me up.

"I will be as long as Emmett doesnt drive the entire way there."

Edward laughed, then led me out of the little bedroom.

"Morning Bella!" Alice chimed, getting up from the card game she was playing with Rose.

"You just left cause I was about to win." Rose said, gathering the cards off the table.

"Look Bella," Esme said, opening one of the cupoards. "We bought tea."

I smiled at Esme. "Thanks."

"You hungry love? We can stop somewhere."

"Didnt you guys bring food?" I asked, sitting at the table."

"Uhm... Emmett and Alice did the shopping."

Alice smiled sheepishly at me. "On the upside, your closet is fully stocked."

"That's so... Alice of you." I sighed, grabbing a tea bag from the cupboard. "You know Edward, we would never have to stop if you just changed me."

Everyone in the trailer laughed.

"And that so _Bella _of you." Alice said, giggling.

"Shut up." I mumbled, fumbling to open the tea.

Suddenly, the car stopped in a massive jolt, causing me to spill hot water everywhere.

"Damn it!" I said, shaking the hot liquid off my hand.

"Emmett!" Alice whined, "What is it now?"

"AHHH!" Emmett screamed, running out the RV door.

We all followed him out side.

"Oh." said Rose

"My." [alice]

"GOD!" I scremed, hitting Emmett in the arm.

"owwies." Emmett whined, rubbing his arm. "look! Its the world's largest paper cup!"

"That means we're in Riverside... close to LA!" Alice said, clapping her hands Paula Abduel style.

"Shopping!" Rose said, throwing her fist into the air.

"Oh god no." All the boys and i said in unison.

"Bella," Rose said, dragging me towards Alice by the arm. "You're a _teenage girl _you're supposed to like shopping!"

"Yea, but technically you're not... so why do you like it?" I mumbled under my breath

"Come on Bella," Alice chimed in, ignoring my comment, "Come on. Ill get you a new book if you come!"

"S'ok, Im pretty sure i packed one."

"Uhm, right. Well, we kind of forgot all of the luggage." Jasper said, coming towards us.

"More shopping for everyone then!" Alice yelled in triumph.

"Damn."

"Well, first I want my picte taken with the giant paper cup!" Emmett yelled, throwing the camera to me.

"Ah....." I said, trying to catch the camera. Just when I thought I had it, it dropped.

I closed my eyes and waited for the inevitable _crack_ of the camera making contact with the cement.

But no sound came, so i opened my eyes and saw Edward taking a picture of Emmett.

"One...two....three!" Edward yelled at Emmett, who responded saying "CHEESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Im gonna get back in the RV..." I said, turning around.

"C'mon love, you need to get your picture taken."

"Uh.... I just woke up Edward. And since it's Alice's camera, I dont know where in the world this picture will end up."

"Good point." He whispered into my ear before kissing my forehead.

I walked up the stairs into the RV, and tried to find a towel to clean up the mess I'd made.

I grabbed a _shamwow_ from the counter and tried to do what the guy in the comercials did.

"Awe, look, its Cinderella!" Rose said, laughing

"Barbie." Edward said under his breath. I laughed.

"You know what?..." Rose said, grabbing Edward's shirt.

"What?" He taunted back, grinning.

"GAH!" Alice came into the RV, screaming. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO HIS _EDHARDY _T-SHIRT?!?!?!?!?!"

"Yea, Rose, it's _Ed Hardy_." I said cooing over the shirt. "How could you even think of doing that?"

Esme and Carlisle came into the RV last. "Children!" Carlisle shouted, stoping all of us. "This is supposed to be a nice, _family _vacation." Carlisle said, grabbing the _shamwow _out of my hands.

"Bella, you dont need to worry about this. Really."

I got up from the floor and went over to Edward.

"Well," Alice said throught the awkward scilence. "How about we go to Orange County?" She clapped her hands together.

"Or not." Emmett and I said together.

"We'll take a vote," Esme said. "Who votes Orange County?" Jasper, Alice, Rose, **EDWARD**, and Esme put up their hands.

"Orange County wins!" Esme said, getting back into the passenger's seat.

"Edward!" I whined, smacking his arm.

"You know," He said, lifting me up and putting me on the couch. "Even though I can't feel it, it's not very nice." He said with a cocky grin.

"Edward, What are you going to do?"

"oh nothing....." He said, innocently.

"EDWARD!!!!!!" I screamed, kicking and screaming. Oh, he was soooo going to regret this.

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**Hoorah! Finally! An UPDATE! YEA!!!!!!!!!! Okies, well, now guess what i have? A WEBSITE! It will have _everything _to do with my fanfictions. It says when Im planning to update each story, how I came up with the idea for the story, and a better summary of the story. It also has a Q & A page. I take the Q's from reviews, or PM's. I also have an "FYI/all about me page, and, of course, there is DUCTAPE. hahaha I couldnt make my website without one of those!**

**here's the link: .com/bluecrayon1101/fanfic**

**yea, i know it says _blue_crayon, but just trust me hahaha :) u can also leave Q's in the 'CONTACT ME' section :) Please visit! I spent a lot of time on it! Hope you like it :)**

**SHMANKS,**

**pinkcrayon1101  
**


	7. Jasper's Song

**Hello! Here's a short little chapter for you :) Hope you like it, cause this is what you get. :) It's a little bit of a silly chapter hahaha... P.S. The rights for the lyrics of the song go to Alex Day. website: ****. Hope you guys have fun reading it! P.S.S. I don't own ANY characters, I hope you guys have figured that out by now :)****

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_Last time:_

_"Edward!" I whined, smacking his arm._

_"You know," He said, lifting me up and putting me on the couch. "Even though I can't feel it, it's not very nice." He said with a cocky grin._

_"Edward, What are you going to do?"_

_"oh nothing....." He said, innocently._

_"EDWARD!!!!!!" I screamed, kicking and screaming. Oh, he was soooo going to regret this._

_

* * *

_

"Edward, I swear, you tickle me, you die."

"Already dead." He said, smiling and pinning me to the seat. "TICKLE HER EMMETT!"

"NO! NO! NO!" I screamed from the seat.

Unfortunetly, the seat we were on was right up against a window, and we were at a stoplight.

Emmett looked at the guy for about ten seconds, waved, and continued tickling me.

What we didn't know, was that the guy was a cop.

In a minute we were pulled over.

"Lisence and Registration please."

"Sure officer." Carlisle said, handing over the paperwork then shooting a glare at Emmett, Edward and I.

"So...Doctor. Can you tell me what those boys are doing to that girl?"

"It's their... sister."

"Ahh. Okay, you folks are free to go."

Carlisle rolled up the window and then started up the car again.

"You boys are lucky. Get off Bella."

I yawned. "Yea, stop *yawn* bothering me."

"Bella!" Alice said, throwing a pillow at me. "Are you seriously tired?!"

"Yes Alice," I said, looking at the clock. "It's 11:43PM!"

"So?"

"I'm tired." I crawled into the little bedroom Edward and I were sharing.

"Okay everyone, I'm gonna park. Just hang out until morning. Please be quiet."

We all said goodnight and went off to our bunks.

"Coming Jazz?" Alice asked.

"I'll be there in a minute." He replied, pressing some buttons on his gameboy.

"Okay." She sighed, closing the door.

It was five minutes later that I heard a crash in the main part of the RV.

"What was that?!" I asked, cracking the door open a little bit.

I saw Jasper, looking down at his new broken DS. "Stupid Nintendo." He muttered, sitting back on the couch.

Then he started singing to his game cartridge.

"What game is that?" I asked Edward, being quiet so Jasper wouldn't hear.

"Pokemon."

_I remember when there were only 150 of you_  
_ Well, technically 151 if you are counting Mew, but I digress_  
_ I guess I spent the best years of my life_  
_ Surfing Cinnabar Island to get 126 Revives_  
_ And I miss the Pokémon Center_  
_ I miss its music too_  
_ And the way that Snorlax looked like Lapras on water_  
_ Pokémon, what happened to you?_

"Uh, what is he talking about?" I asked, looking worried.

"Pokemon." Edward said as he pulled the camera out of a drawer and pressed the record button. "Blackmail." He explained, smirking.

_In the old days, you only got one form of every kind_  
_ I could name all the Gym Leaders, didn't even have to try_  
_ But now you've shown me Team Galactic and Dark and Steel and eggs_  
_ Oh I want my Red and Blue back when Ditto wasn't used for sex_  
_ I miss the cycling road, don't you know_  
_ I miss the music too_  
_ And I can't believe you used to be in black and white_  
_ Pokémon, what happened to you_

"Aww, he sounds so sad."

"He can deal with it."

_Now Legendary means nothing to me_  
_ Because one-of-a-kind creatures add up to over thirty_  
_ And I only want three choices for my Eevee_  
_ I don't want a rival if his name is not Gary_

"Ok, now I have no idea what he's talking about."

"Shh, love, you're ruining the recording."

_And how the hell do you pronounce Sweecoon, Sooisine, Sweesign, Sooisoon, I don't know_

_I miss holding down the B button when I thought it made it easier_  
_ I miss surfing to the truck and using Strength to try and move it_  
_ I miss watching my Charmander evolve into a Charmeleon_  
_ I don't accept your Leaf Green, they'll always be Red and Blue to me_

"He's really attached to this huh?"

"Yep. You should have seen how mad he was when they made the silver ones. They were in colour. He locked himself in his room for two weeks."

_Yesterday I dreamt I was surrounded by Unown_  
_ The spelled the words "I'm sorry on behalf of Nintendo_  
_ We don't get Poffins either, and SuperContests are so-so_  
_ And the Pokédex was fine, it didn't need a radio"_  
_ I miss the Team Rocket hideout_  
_ And I miss the music too_  
_ And why have shinies if they're so impossible to find_  
_ Pokémon, what happened to you_  
_ Pokémon, what happened to you_

"Poffins? Super-Contests? Shinies? Is it over yet?" I asked, putting my head back on the pillow._  
_

_And I'll never again experience that joy of mine_  
_Because you are incompatible with my brand new DSi_

Jasper looked through the window, sighed, and then went to his and Alice's room.

"Well, that was... epic."

"Yep. Im sorry you had to see that."

I shrugged. "No worse than seeing Alice loose with a credit card."

He chuckled and kissed me on the head. "Night, love."

"Night."

* * *

**So, my lovely readers, thanks for reading! I hope you guys liked it :) Sorry that half of it was a song, but I hope you liked it. I thought it was kind of funny. In my mind for some reason, Jasper is obsessed with kid's cartoons. Hmm. This makes it really messed up when I read the actual book :) Anyway, if anyone has ANY idea for the next chapter, i'd LOVE to hear it!!! :) Hope you guys liked this chapter!! Please Reveiw!! :)  
**

**--pinkcrayon1101  
**


	8. Walmart has vampire proof locks?

**Hello, my lovely readers! First of all, I just wanted to thank you guys for sticking with me :) It makes me happy that I still have some fans that don't loose hope ;) **

**Secondly, I want to apologize ahead for this chapter. I don't think it's the best I've ever writen, but I think it's fairly good. I'm sorry if it's not as funny as you'd hoped for though. :(**

**Lastly, PLEASE read the AN at the bottom, :)

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**

***WARNINGS*: contains mild cussing, and sexual references! (Gosh darn it Emmett!) :) **

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything. Nope... _Juicy _and _Coach_ and _Wal-Mart_ and any of the characters mentioned are _NOT MINE_ Clear? ;)

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**

I awoke to the sounds of glass breaking.

_Oh God, this can't be good._

I pulled my hair into a ponytail, changed quickly, and then walked out of the door.

"NO! WE NEED TO GO SHOPPING!"

"Alice, calm down."

"NO!"

Before I knew what was going on, I was knocked off my feet by Alice.

I sat up and rubbed my head. "This is why most girls choose _non-vampire families_." I said, laughing.

Edward smirked, walking over and lending me a hand to get up. "Sorry," He said, kissing me on the cheek. "Carlisle and Alice were having another argu-"

"WE WEREN'T ARGUING!" Carlisle said, stepping in front of us. "Dr. Cullen is the serene, kind, handsome doctor who doesn't argue! God, get it right." He shook his head and walked to the front of the RV, beside Esme.

"Uh, ok then." Edward said, looking scared. "Anyway, we're here."

"Here...?" I asked, moving to make myself some tea.

Emmett hit me on the back. "C'mon, you can get tea at a dunkin' doughnuts or something." He said, grabbing me and carrying me out of the RV.

"EMMETT!" I screamed, kicking.

I heard an evil laugh.

"Ali," I said, still suspended above the ground. "For such a tiny person, you sure have one hell of an evil laugh." She giggled and danced out into the light.

"Look, we're already here, so there's no use arguing."

"Can someone please tell me where the hell 'here' is?" I asked, getting frustrated. "AND PLEASE PUT ME DOWN EM!" I yelled, kicking him.

"Even though I can't feel it, it's not very nice." He said, slowly lowering me.

We all stared at him.

"Dude," Jasper said, putting his PS3 in his pocket. "That was Edward's line like, two chapters ago. Get your own material."

"Yea," I said, moving over to Edward. He wrapped his arm around me. "And if you're going to steal something he says, at least do it well. You _butchered _that."

Rosalie laughed. "God. This is what I get for rushing into a wedding." She sighed and grabbed his arm. "C'mon, let's go."

We all walked a few feet, into the doors of a shopping center.

"Oh god." I sighed, seeing all of the designer boots, bags, and clothes making up the colourful window displays. "Really?"

"Yep." Alice said, dragging me towards _Coach_.

"Alice, do you really think Bella is a _Coach _kind of girl?" Rose asked, tilting her head to the side as if she were studying me.

Alice stopped, then looked at me. "Mmmm. I see your point Rose. Maybe we should choose something else..." She began to lead us towards a _Juicy Couture _store.

I turned around to face Edward and the others. "SAVE ME." I whispered.

Edward smirked, and waved. "It's female bonding time. Have fun."

Esme looked at the boys. "Ok, you go that way, and we'll go this way." She kissed Carlisle on the cheek.

"Carrrrliiiissssslllleeee..." Alice said, walking up to him.

"Yes?" He asked, sighing and pulling out his wallet. "How much?"

Alice smiled. "Well, just give us your credit card. It'll be easier." She snatched it out of the leather pocket.

"Damn it Alice," Carlisle said, putting his wallet back in his pocket. "What's the point of me taking away your cards if you're going to spend all of my money?" He sighed.

"Love you!" She said, pecking him on the cheek. "Let's go girls!"

I looked back at Edward, deciding to run towards him.

"C'mon Bells." Rosalie said, pulling me back by my jacket. "This is for your own good."

Edward smirked and waved at me. "Stupid vampires." I muttered under my breath.

I knew we had reached the first store when I heard Alice clapping. "You know that people make fun of Paula Abdul for clapping like that right?" I asked. She rolled her eyes.

"Let's go." We walked in, and instantly 3 sales ladies were all over us. God, it was worse than a car dealership. And Edward had dragged me to enough of those to know the stupid sales people by name.

"Ooooh!" Esme and Alice said at the same time. They left our side and both shot to opposite sides of the store, ignoring the ladies in front of us.

"Just browsing." Rose said, smiling at them. "..Stupid.." Rose muttered, pulling me towards the shirts.

"Hmmm..." She said, pulling pink, blue, and green shirts up to my face. "Yep, for once Edward was right. Blue is _so _your colour."

"Great." I sighed, not really interested in shopping. "Why do we need to do this again?" I asked as Rose piled 3 shirts into a basket.

"Because," She replied, looking through the sweat suits. "No one packed the suitcases. Remember?"

I sighed again. "Right." I grabbed a hoodie from the rack. "Hey, this isn't too bad."

Alice came up behind us and gasped.

"ROSE!" She yelled, snatching the sweat suits out of her hands.

"Alice, What the hell?" Rose asked, picking up the clothes that had been discarded on the floor.

"Rose," Alice said again, taking the clothing items and placing them back on the rack. "C'mon, you know that only _LGs _wear _Juicy Couture _track suits!" She screamed. Several heads turned towards us.

"Err," I said, putting the hoodie back. "Sorry guys, but what's an LG?"

Rosalie and Alice gave me looks of shock.

"Seriously?" Alice asked, dragging me away from the multicoloured velour sweat suits.

Suddenly Esme came up behind us. "Girls, let's go. There's not really anything here need."

Alice nodded, clearly glad to avoid explaining to me what an LG was.

"Let's just say," Rose said under her breath as we exited the store. "Think… Jane."

I was confused. "Jane is an LG?" I bit my lip. I don't think I was supposed to be super scared of an LG. Whatever the hell they were.

She laughed. "Kind of. Ok, Tanya?"

I nodded. "Ok, I think I get it."

"Really?"

"No."

"Oh well, I tried." We followed Esme and Alice towards the next store. I looked down at my shoes, and something shiny caught my eye.

"Ooh! A penny!" I bent down to pick it up, and felt someone run into me.

"Ouch!" I said as I landed on the hard cement. I quickly checked to make sure I wasn't bleeding.

I heard laughter from above me. "Jasper? Emmett?" I looked up at them. "Really?" Emmett extended his hand and helped me up.

"Sorry Bells," He said, grinning like a two year old. "Accidents happen."

"Whatever." I said, brushing myself off. "Where's Edward?"

"Oh, let's just say he's…preoccupied_._"

Instantly my mind flashed with Images of the things Emmett and Jasper could have done to their 'youngest' brother, causing me to shudder.

"Anyway, we're all heading over to Wally World." Jasper said, putting a headphone in his ear.

I raised an eyebrow. "Wally World?"

"Yep." He said, plugging his other ear with a headphone.

I sighed and walked with them towards Wal-Mart.

As we walked through the automatic doors, a wave of cool air hit us, causing me to shiver.

"Need a sweater?" I turned around and saw a voice coming from a boy, no older than 17. Mind you, that's what I thought about Edward when I met him. Turns out he was older than 100…

"Oh, uh…" I said, unsure how to respond. He was dressed in a simple sweater and jeans. I smiled.

"I'm fine thanks."

"Ok," He said, disappointment showing on his face. "But If yo…" Before he could continue, he got interrupted by Emmett.

"Don't mess with my little sister." He said, lifting the boy by his shirt.

The boy bit his lip. "Uh, sorry dude." He said, looking at Emmett.

Jasper nudged Emmett's arm, then Emmett looked to where he was pointing and dropped the boy. "You're lucky I was the one here, and not her _boyfriend_." He said the last word with such venom that it would have made anyone scared.

I smiled shyly at him. "Sorry." I said, biting my lip.

He smiled back. "I would keep hitting on you, but your family is crazy." He winked and walked away.

I sighed. "C'mon, can't you guys just try to be normal?"

The two vampires in front of me looked shocked. I looked at their faces and then realized what they must have thought.  
"No!" I said, waving my hands in front of me. "I just mean for the sake of the family, we have to be as normal as possible! Not just because that guy. No! I love Edward." I smiled as I felt two cold hands slip around me from behind.

"Hi." He said, kissing my cheek.

I shivered, smiling. "Hi." I replied, tracing circles onto his hands.

"ANYWAY." Emmett said, smirking. "I've always wanted to have sex with Rose in Wal-Mart." With that, he left, trying to find his wife.

"Err," I said, holding back laughter.

"Only Emmett." Edward said, laughing.

Jasper shrugged, bopping his head to the music.

"Hmm," I said, seeing Emmett's head bob among the racks of clothing. "Want to have some fun?"

Edward smiled. "You know it." He said, turning me around to face him. "What did you have in mind?"

I winked. "You'll just have to wait. Text everyone and tell them to meet us in the camping department."

* * *

**TEN MINUTES LATER.

* * *

**

"We're here Edward. This better be important!" Emmett said, a box of condoms in his hand.

Carlisle sighed. "Honestly?" He asked, rubbing his head. "You children are like rabbits. Can't you stop for a _day_?"

Emmett smiled. "Nope."

Rose and Alice made their way into the tent. "So, what did you want?" Alice asked. Rose looked at Emmett and sighed.

"You moron. I've already told you, we're not having sex in a Wal-Mart! Especially while our family is here! And," She said, taking the box of condoms from him. "We don't need these." She threw them out across the store. "Ok, now, what was so important Edward?"

"Well," I said, laughing from the situation that had unfolded. "I was just thinking," I bit my lip. What if they hated the idea? "What if…"

I was cut off by the lights turning off. "Uh…" Emmett said, pointing to the ceiling. "I'm pretty sure that's not supposed to happen."

Rose slapped the back of his head.  
Alice jumped into Jasper's arms. "It's dark." She said, hugging him. "And worst of all, we're in a Wal-Mart! This is worse than a horror movie!"

Everyone laughed. "I'm sure it's just a minor power outage or something." Carlisle said, walking to the front of the store. Much to his dismay, the doors were locked.

"Ugh," Carlisle said, turning towards the group. "Looks like we're locked in here."

"YOU SAY IT SO CALMLY!" Alice screamed. "LIKE WE'RE ORDERING CHINEESE FOOD!"

Jasper sighed and put an arm around his wife. "No worries Ali," He said, walking towards the door. "We'll just break out." He looked at the glass door and punched it.

I closed my eyes, expecting to hear the sound of breaking glass. I opened my eyes in surprise when the only sound was Jasper cursing.

"God!" He said, shaking his hand out. "This is crazy."

"Try the locks." Esme suggested, pushing Edward toward the padlock.

He fiddled with it for a minute, bending down and examining it.

Emmett yawned. "C'mon Eddie, stop analyzing the heck out of it."

Edward rolled his eyes at his brother, then stood up and sighed. "Sorry, I don't think we can get through this door."

Alice's eyes were larger than my truck's headlights.  
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN?" She yelled, hitting Edward's chest with her tiny little fists.

Edward grabbed her hands. "We're _stuck_." He said, annunciating his words.

She looked as if she would cry if she could.

"Do we have anything that she could buy?" I asked, looking around. I thought about it, and then gasped, running towards the toy isle.

I found what I was looking for, but couldn't reach the box by myself. I sighed. Well, this was a stupid idea. "Edward?" I yelled, hoping he would hear me. No reply. "Apparently the vampire hearing only works when I don't want it to." I said with a scowl. I looked at the pole beside me. _'Intercom Assistance'_ I read off the sign above a phone. "Perfect!" I said, grabbing it.

_"Attention," _My voice rang over the intercom, I giggled. _"I feel like god!" _I muttered, forgetting they could all hear me now. _"Uh… Anyway, Edward, can you come over here? I need you to help me carry something. Thanks… Oh, this is Bella by the way. Not God or any other supernatural thing… uh, yea." _I put the phone back, and instantly heard Emmett's booming laugh. "Great."

Edward was at my side in seconds. "What do you need, love?" He asked, smiling at me.

"Well," I said, pointing above my head, "Do you think Alice would like this?"

He smiled and nodded. "I think so." He laughed. "I'll get it."

* * *

**BACK WITH THE OTHERS (3rd person)

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**

Carlisle looked at his 'daughter', and sighed. "Alice," He said, putting a hand on her shoulder. He could hear her sharp intake of breath.  
"Alice, it's not _that _bad." He said.

Alice turned around, her eyes turning a dark, dark, gold.

"_Carlisle_," She said coolly, glaring. "You don't understand. Wal-Mart is like, my nightmare. Know what's worse?" She cringed. "Being around all of this stuff, and not being able to buy it."

Everyone sighed. "Honestly Ali?" Rosalie asked, applying lip gloss. "We'll get out of here. It's not like Wal-Mart has _Vampire-Proof locks_!" Everyone stared at her. "Oh damn," She said, putting the cap on her lip gloss. "They kind of do eh?"

"Blonde moment." Jasper said through coughs. Emmett laughed, along with Esme and Carlisle.

If looks could kill, Rosalie would have murdered four vampires. Instead, she turned to Alice, who was looking at the ceiling. "Alice?" Rose asked, following her gaze. There was a sign above the door. Rose read it aloud. "_This door is to remain unlocked at all times when there are people inside._" She read, and then furrowed her perfect eyebrows.

Alice screamed. "THE SIGN IS MOCKING ME!" She said, pulling at her hair. "WHY DO THEY HATE ME?" She stood up, ran towards a sale sign, grabbed the yellow smiley face, and tore it to shreds.

"Well, It's official," Emmett said, looking sideways at his sister. "Alice has gone crazy."

* * *

**Hello, hello again! Hope you all enjoyed that chapter! :) Please please please take the time to Reveiw if you can! Honestly, they mean _so much _to me! So please, if you're not too busy, review! Even if you hated it (which I sure as heck hope you didn't, but hey, maybe you did!) Please review anyway so I know what to work on for next time!**

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**Ok, So, If you have even _more _time after you've reveiwed (hint hint, nudge nudge lol) Feel free to visit my website, www(dot)wix(dot)com/bluecrayon1101/fanfic. (Replace the '(dot)'s with legit dots please! :) It's a pretty cool place, full of ductape and surprises! haha :) **

**FanArt**

**Ok, so, if you happen to be an artist, or even if you're not, I've recently decided that I need pictures. And hey, guess what. I CAN'T DRAW. Honestly, not at all. lol. So, that's where you guys come in! I will use my favourite picture as my profile picture, and I'll find things to do with the others. FB page maybe? Lol! :)**

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**_pinkcrayon1101_  
**


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